


The Empty

by StorytellerWitch



Series: Alternate Ending [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cute Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Smut, Saving Castiel, The Empty, i've got you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StorytellerWitch/pseuds/StorytellerWitch
Summary: The last words Castiel says to Dean is, "I love you," right before the Empty takes him. Coming to terms with his feelings, Dean travels into the Empty to get Castiel back, but will he make it out in time before the portal closes, trapping him inside forever?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Alternate Ending [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183601
Comments: 26
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Y'all. This is my first multi-chapter Destiel fic, and I hope y'all like it.

**CHAPTER ONE**

The last words Castiel said to Dean Winchester was, “I love you.” Dean could not get those words out of his head to save his life, nor could he act on those words to save Castiel’s life. The entire thing was so fucked up and Dean hated himself for it, which wasn’t hard to do. Dean hated himself for a book of reasons. But this… this was something different. Dean had spent his entire life believing he was straight, that was until Castiel came into his life. Like a worm, Castiel wiggled his way into the nooks and crannies of Dean’s soul and left a mark so deep Dean couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t in his nature to understand it. Now, a week later, and Dean found himself buried deep in research by Sam’s side. This would be their very last quest. They had saved the world. Jack had gone off to fill God’s shoes, sure he’d drop in on him and Sam from time to time. Though Dean had begged Jack for his help to get Castiel back, Jack simply responded with a kind smile and said, “I’m sorry Dean, but I will not meddle in human lives. Chuck did that one too many times and look what happened. But I will also not get in your way of trying to save Cas.”

With Jack’s blessing to not interfere with Dean’s rescue mission, Dean had confided in Sam. Telling his brother the part of the truth, “I need to get him back, Sammy. He saved my life It's only fair that I return the favor. Plus, there is some stuff I have to figure out, and I can’t do that without him.”

With a faint understanding, Sam agreed to help. He had also suggested seeking the help of Rowena, because “she would know what to do”. While Dean took charge of putting everything in order and mapping out a plan. Sam spent time with Rowena, asking her questions, as well as figuring out a spell that would allow Dean to slip into the Empty, find Cas, and allow them to come back. Once the research was done, and Dean felt confidant in dealing with the Empty as well as any angry beings that he may wake up, he was ready to go. He was surprised to see that Rowena was joining Sam by his side in order to open a portal to the Empty. When asked about it, Rowena claimed, “Well, I have all faith in Sam, but I figured having a real witch by his side for something this stupid would be helpful. Don’t worry boys, I won’t hold this against ye.”

Dean’s thanks came in a silent smile, weary eyes full of hope, and nervousness that caused the lines on his forehead to be more prominent. Ignoring his emotions, Dean gave a nod towards his brother and Rowena and listened as they began to chant.

It didn’t take long for the Earth to split. It was Sam that spoke first in an astonished, “we did it!”

“Of course, we did. Did you think it wouldn’t work? Have you no faith in me Samuel?”

“I do… I just…”

“How much time do I have before the portal closes,” Dean’s voice cut Sam’s off. They could carry on their conversation after he left.

“One hour,” Rowena said with confidence, “And, Dean… If you are not back in one hour and the portal closes. I’m afraid to say you will be stuck in the Empty, and there isn’t a thing more I can do.”

“Thanks, Rowena. I’ll be back before the hour.”

“Good luck, Dean…”

“Thanks, Sam… no chick flick moments. I’ll be back with Cas.”


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

He wasn’t sure what to expect from the Empty, but it wasn’t this. Dark, vast, painfully quiet. So quiet it hurt his ears. He couldn’t see anything, everything was pitch black, and his fear peaked right then. Which way should he go? Should he call out Castiel’s name? Does the Empty know he’s here?

Dean forced his thoughts away and took a shaky step forward. His boots making contact with the ground but it felt like nothing he had ever walked on before. Almost hard, almost soft, but not like walking on carpet, it was just weird. Feeling confident now, Dean strode forward, feeling as though he was going absolutely nowhere until his ears perked up. He heard the sound of soft snores, and light sighs that only came with sleep.

Following the sleeping noises, Dean walked ahead, trusting his inner compass and his feet to take him where he needed to be. There were several hallways containing doors. Above those doors were letters, some of the letters were so ancient he had no idea what they were. Slowly he stepped into one. There were sleeping forms, angels who had fallen before. None of them were Castiel so he moved on. In the next room, Dean found the same thing, and the next, and the next. Dean felt his anxiety rise and he started to panic. He had looked down at his watch and already forty minutes had passed. Using the flashlight on his phone, Dean used the light to look around. He had made a dent in looking through the rooms, but the hall seemed endless. If he continued searching room to room, he would never make it, and he feared that he would never find Castiel.

Weighing his options, he knew what he had to do. And so, in the heat of the moment, Dean gathered his breath, and called out, “CASSSS!” At first, nothing happened, “Castiel, please! Where are you?”

“Dean, I was wondering when you’d come for me,” came Castiel’s voice. Dean turned around and suddenly was in an endless room, dark and shiny, similar to the other rooms but this was different somehow. Suddenly there was a beam of light, not bright, just enough to not hurt the eyes of a sleeping person upon waking. The beam of light shone down over a chair and the person sitting in it.

Dean’s breath caught in his throat, there was Castiel sitting. A cocky smile on his face, eyes sparkling playfully. It made Dean angry that he was being played with. “Where is he?”

“Where is who, Dean? Were you not just looking for me a moment ago?”

“No, I wasn’t. I was looking for Castiel, not you. You may look like Cas, but you’re not him.”

“Clever. Very clever Dean Winchester. I’m not Castiel, no, but wouldn’t it be such fun playing with you? Using his body to lure you in? You don’t have much longer before your sly little portal closes up. You know what happens then, don’t you?

“You will be trapped here. You will belong to me, and trust me, Dean, you won’t like what happens to you here. You see, I am very easy to get along with. I don’t have many rules, just two really. Number one: always quiet. Number two: sleep. And when either of those, or both of those are disturbed, I become very upset, and I get ANGRRRRYYY” yelled the Empty!

“Tell me where Castiel is, give him back to me and I will leave you alone, and you can go back to sleep.”

“LIES,” the Empty yelled, before flicking its wrist, which had Dean flying against a wall he hadn’t been aware of. Dean landed with a hard thud, having the wind knocked out of him. “I don’t like giving up my new toys. They are so much fun to play with. You see, I can get in his head. I know all of his thoughts and feelings. I know how he truly feels for you. I know how it all ended for him. You blame yourself for it. Why should I give him back to you when I have so much fun with him?”

“What did you do to him? If you hurt him, I swear…” Before Dean could finish his sentence, the Empty had landed a punch across Dean’s face, busting his lip open. Dean groaned but tried not to let the pain show.

“Oh, Dean. Come now. Please don’t tell me you return Castiel’s affections? Pathetic, you lie to yourself, Dean. No one likes liars.” Again, the Empty landed another punch across Dean’s face. This time Dean had to spit a chunk of blood out. Dean clenched his teeth in anger and annoyance. Time was ticking, his body was hurting now, and he was not here to make small talk with this… thing.

“Tell you what… you hand Castiel over to me and I’ll leave you alone. You can go back to sleep… peace and quiet and all that jazz.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll kill you, get Castiel anyway, and still make it out in time before the portal closes. Win-win.” Dean said shrugging his shoulders.

“Ha! Dean, you can’t kill me. I’m already dead.”

“Hmm…So, what happens if I make you double dead? Where do you go?” Dean asked head cocked to the side. He felt overwhelmingly calm and confident.

“If you do this,” the Empty began, “And you take Castiel out of here, do you know what happens to him then?”

“Let’s find out,” Dean said before the Empty had a chance to respond, Dean had plunged a blade straight through the Empty’s chest.

Through its screeching and shallow breathing, the Empty’s mouth foamed up in bubbling black ooze as it tried to speak, “St..stupid hu..hu..human!” The Empty hissed out loud and high pitched, forcing Dean to drop to his knees and cover his ears as the Empty withered, crumbling to the ground. Finally, it was dead.

With a sigh of relief, Dean slumped to the floor, panic engulfing his body. He looked down at his watch. He now had less than five minutes to find Castiel and get them both out here.

Like magic, the room light up in that dull light. There was another room that Dean had discovered. Taking a deep breath, and fixing her nerves to stone, Dean walked into the glowing room. The room was like all the other rooms except it was lit up enough to see.

Dean let out a gasp as he took in the bloody, crumpled body that was Castiel. Castiel’s wings were spread out, taking up much of the room, feathers were missing in patches, exposing the bone beneath. Blood trickled from Castiel’s nose and mouth. And for a moment, Dean could do nothing but standing there and stare until he heard his name, “Dean…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all! Decided to upload another chapter, this will be the last one until Friday. Hope y'all enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

“Dean… is that…” Castiel whispered, coughing between words, “Is that you?” Dean then rushed to Castiel’s side, kneeling carefully beside him. “It’s me. What the hell happened, Cas?”

“The Empty…”

“It’s okay now, Cas. C’mon, we don’t have much time, we gotta go, now. Can you stand?”

“The Empty won’t let me go, Dean.”

“I know. That’s why I killed it,” Dean said. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at this.

“You killed…”

“Shh... We’ll talk about it after we get you out of this shithole, now c’mon.” With Dean’s help, Castiel was able to stand up. Dean kept a firm arm wrapped around Castiel’s waist for support. Castiel leaned heavily against Dean, as Dean led him through darkness and back through the portal.

As soon as Dean stepped through the portal, it was sealed back up. Dean collapsed on the floor with Castiel on top of him. It was all he could do but lay there breathing heavily and closed his eyes for just a moment to allow his body and mind to regulate. Safe! They were safe! He got Cas back, and they were okay, and that was enough.

“Dean!” Sam shouted, thankful that his brother made it back in time, successful also in returning with Cas. “Hey, man, you alright,” Sam asked referring to Dean’s bloody and bruised face which was of no comparison to Castiel’s.

“Yeah, fine. Castiel on the other hand, not so much. The Empty did a number on him.” Dean said, looking down at the unconscious angel in his arms.

“Yeah, I see that. It’s good you got him back, Dean. Let’s go Cas to bed so he can rest until he wakes up.”

With Sam’s help, Dean got up and they both managed to lift Castiel up off the ground. Together they carried Castiel into Dean’s room and placed him on the bed. Castiel had passed out as soon as they got through the portal, and he had not woken up since. The first thing Dean had checked was Cas’s carotid for a pulse. It was there, strong and clear which put Dean at ease.

“Thanks, Sammy. I owe you one.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it. I’m gonna, ugh, just leave you two alone. I’m sure you probably want to change and get comfortable and I need to make sure Rowena is okay too.” Dean only nodded, half-listening to his brother and focusing more on Castiel. It was the first time that he was allowing himself to truly look at the angel.

Dean took note of the bruises scattered over Castiel’s face, the now dried blood on the corner of his lip and coming out of his nose. The tear tracks down his face and the messy hair. His clothing was dirty, covered in grime, dirt, and dried blood and the thought of what Castiel had gone through made his chest tight with pain.

After about an hour of sitting by Castiel’s side, Dean had come to an internal agreement with himself. When Cas woke up and had a few minutes to adjust, the two of them needed to have a serious talk, and it didn’t look like it would take much longer. As Dean allowed his hand to wander, fingers barely grazing over Castiel’s open palm, Dean pulled his hand away when he noticed Castiel’s eyes fluttering open. Castiel groaned and tried to sit up, but hissed and upon Dean’s insistence, laid back down. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Cas. You’re safe. I’m here. You’re back at the Bunker.”

“Dean… no…I will not fall for it again,” Castiel said, turning to his side, curling up in the fetal position. “Please, just leave me alone. I promise I won’t wake up again.” Castiel’s voice was so small and broken, nothing like Dean had ever heard before.

“Cas, You’re not in the Empty anymore. Can you turn around and look at me?” Dean urged, holding firmly around Castiel’s wrist and tugging gently so Castiel would turn over. With a broken sigh, Castiel turned around and looked up into Dean’s eyes. Castiel let out a gasp, and tears welled up in his eyes. “Castiel… please,” Dean begged.

“Please…” Castiel sobbed, “I’ll be good. I’ll be quiet, just please…I can’t…” Castiel turned back over, still sobbing as quietly as he could, forcing his eyes closed again and he stayed as still as he possibly could. Dean felt something deep in his chest being crushed. He didn’t even realize he began to cry until the tears trickled down his chin, tickling his flesh there and he was forced to wipe them away. It was then that he had an idea, crazy and a little out there, but it was all he had left. Castiel didn’t believe that he was real, safe, and back in the Bunker. The Empty was dead and could no longer hurt him. There was one thing the two of them shared that no one else knew about except for them. The day Castiel pulled him from Hell, he had left a permanent mark on his body in the form of his handprint on his upper arm. Because Dean had always kept his body covered with multiple layers of fabric, no one else knew about the mark. This was the one thing that Castiel would know he was real.

Dean shrugged the first two layers of plaid shirts off before pulling the white tee over his head and discarding it on the floor. Then made his way over to the other side of the bed where Castiel was facing and sat down next to Castiel. “Cas… open your eyes. It’s okay. You’re safe, you’re safe and no one is going to hurt you. I won’t let them. You don’t believe that I am really me, but there is one way you will know. It is the one thing you left on my body that no one else knew about,” Dean spoke softly, trying to gain Castiel’s trust.

“My mark,” Castiel whispered, his eyes fluttering open again. His eyes flicked up at Dean’s naked torso, and straight to his arm where the large red handprint was permanently scarred into his flesh. “Dean,” Castiel gasped, eyes opening wide. “You came for me. Why?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Hope y'all enjoyed this update, sorry it took a while to update. I'm gonna try to update at least twice a week for y'all. Let me know what y'all thought about this chapter. <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone even reading this story? Should I continue? Let me know, <3

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Why? Why had Dean fought his way through the Empty, killing it, and rescuing Castiel? Was he and could he tell Castiel the truth after he had confessed his love to him? At one point Dean had come to an internal agreement, he had even confessed wanting to experience things like love, true love for the first time. He had seen Sam in love and happy with Jess, and now he had Eileen. Sure, Dean had had several sexual partners, all-female, and never lasting for more than a night, and occasionally a wild morning before he up and left. He never remembered their names, he never cared to. It was just pure sex, just to scratch an itch. What was this now? This was something foreign and new to his entire system and he wasn’t sure he was ready to take this on. There were too many things wrong. Dean was a male, a manly man. Castiel was an angel, wings, powers, the whole nine yards, also male. Was this even okay?

“Dean,” Castiel said, pulling him from his thoughts, “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, Cas. I was just… thinking.” After a few quiet moments, of just staring at each other, Dean said, “Hey, if you’re feeling up to it, wanna go shower and get yourself cleaned up?”

“Oh,” Castiel said, looking down at himself before meeting Dean’s eyes again, “Yes, that’s probably for the best. I should go shower.”

“Yeah, you…go shower. We can talk after, okay?”

“Sure, Dean.”

*~*~*

Sinking into a chair in the map room, Dean sighed. Sam handed him a beer, and the two of them drank in quiet, allowing Dean to ponder over his thoughts. He really wasn’t prepared for this. Sure, he had thought about this over and over, and even practiced some of the things he would even say to Cas. But now, here he is, having a beer mid-day, and having an internal freak out because he doesn’t know how to talk to his best friend who he happens to be in love with.

And there it is. The elephant in the room. He’s in love with Cas, and how does he deal with this? How does he overcome this giant obstacle? He glanced over at Sam. Would his little brother think differently of him for being in love with another man? …Not a man, Castiel is not even human, he’s an angel of the freaking lord! Oh, god! The thought, it is the furthest thing from holy. Could he do that to Castiel? Would Castiel allow it?

Maybe he got this all wrong. Maybe Castiel confessing his love to him was something he read into too much. Maybe Castiel loves him the way he loves Sam. Maybe… maybe he would ruin their friendship completely if he told Castiel his true feelings. The question was, was he willing to risk their friendship, and possibly never seeing Cas again because of how he felt about him?

Before he could answer that question, Castiel walked into the room. Apart from the bruises on his face and the crack in his lip, he looked good. His hair was damp from the shower, and he had helped himself to Dean’s clothes which were just a little too big. Castiel had chosen a gray pair of sweat pants, which hung loosely on his hips, and a black Led Zeppelin shirt, one of Dean’s favorites which was also too big on him. Regardless, Castiel looked so damn hot in his clothing.

Dean’s brain had short-circuited as his mind wondered what Cas would look like the morning after sex and wearing Dean’s clothes. Dean’s jaw dropped at the very sight of Castiel before him. “Well, what do you think,” Castiel asked, arms stretched out as he showed off his chosen outfit for the rest of the day.

“Look’s good, man,” Sam said. 

And then Castiel’s eyes landed on him. Was he supposed to speak? How was he supposed to answer this? ‘Yeah, Cas, you look damn sexy in my clothes, and by the way, I’m in love with you’ did not sound like a good idea. Feeling his dick react to Castiel wearing his clothes, Dean lowered his hand to hide his erection, then nodded was all the answer he was going to give.

Castiel took a seat between Sam and Dean and settled down into the chair before he began to speak. “Dean, I owe you an apology. Please do not take what I said in there too seriously.”

“Don’t worry, Cas. It's fine. No harm. Just glad we were able to get you back.”

Before Castiel could respond, his stomach roared to life. His cheeks flushed deep pink and he looked down at his stomach in wonder. Never in his angelic life had it made that noise before. Not only that, but the pain was terrible. “I, um, do not understand why it made that noise. It… hurts…I feel pain… here.” Castiel said, pointing to his rumbling stomach.

“Cas, buddy, that means your hungry,” Sam said.

“But that is a human… oh…” Castiel said, realization making him suddenly aware of what was going on.

“Oh? Oh, what,” Dean asked.

“When you came for me in The Empty and went willingly with you, I gave up my angelic form.”

“Making you human,” Dean finished.

“How, though? How does that work,” Sam asked?

“Its one of the policies of the Empty. Only angels and archangels go to the Empty when we die. It is our eternal resting place. We are not meant to wake up, but it does happen on occasion. God put these rules in place to cover his… ass. He knew that if the angels were to escape they would not be happy with their ending compared to the afterlife humans were able to have in Heaven.”

“Can’t see why though,” Dean said, “Eternal blackness versus a beautiful and happy ending surrounded by the ones you love…”

“Exactly why God chose to strip the angels of their powers if they managed to escape. It would make that angel human and therefore harmless when it comes to God.”

“So what… you eat, sleep, and piss like the rest of us now, and what? Start your new life just like that?”

“Dean,” Sam scolded, but Dean ignored him and Castiel didn’t seem to mind Dean’s question. Used to his aggressive tone, he answered as honestly as he could.

“I’m not sure what happens next, Dean. For now, I guess I will try to do all of the human things that I have learned from watching both of you.”

“Look, Cas, we know this is not going to be easy for you, but Dean and I have your back. We’ll help you.”

“Right. Let’s start helping you by getting some food in you so you don’t keel over from starvation first,” Dean said, heading towards the kitchen to throw something together.

“Thank you, Dean.”


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Dean had taken his time preparing the food. Cooking was something that he had grown quite fond of. It was easy, did not require him to think, just follow directions from a recipe, and added in his own special ingredients when needed for a personal touch. Cooking allowed him to clear his mind, to focus on one task, and keep his hands busy while doing so. He was good at it, of course, he was, he worked well with his hands. His hands helped to fix cars, heal Sammy’s boo boo’s, put things together, fix things that needed to be fixed, or kill things that needed to be killed.

An hour later, Dean had served up three plates which held his famous homemade burger, and a side of homemade sweet potato fries, seasoned accordingly to enhance the flavor. For dessert, Dean had made chocolate pudding, because it was his favorite, and he had hoped now that Cas was human, he would enjoy the flavor just as much as he did.

The three of them sat down, but Dean could not focus on his own food, at least not until his little brother took a bite, and more importantly, not until Castiel had the first bite of his home cooking. Dean watched in fascination as Castiel picked up the burger, sniffing it. Castiel’s eyes literally rolled, and Dean couldn’t help but smile to himself as he spoke, “tastes even better.” Finally, Castiel brought the burger to his lips and took a decent-sized bite. Chewing his food, Cas’s eyes went from wide amazement to half-lidded and glazed. Castiel did not say a word during this time, he couldn’t control the instinct to keep eating. Only when he had devoured his burger and half of his fries did he finally look up, right into Dean’s eyes. “Dean,” Castiel said, “This was delicious, Thank you for this amazing meal. You are a fantastic cook.”

“Thanks, Cas. Glad you liked it.”

After dinner, Castiel enjoyed the pudding, much to Dean’s delight. “Wait until tomorrow. I’ll go into town and buy some pie. Cas, you have to try the pie,” Dean said, eyes all but rolling to the back of his head at the thought of the best food on Earth!

“Well, sorry to put a damper on your dinner plans tomorrow, Dean, but Eileen and I are going out tomorrow night.”

“Oh,” Dean said with raised brows as he leaned back in his chair, “Right, you and Eileen.” Dean took a swig of beer before slamming the bottle down a little harder than expected, “Well, good for you Sammy. Good for you.”

“Uhh.. yeah, thanks Dean…” Sam said, forehead creased in confusion, as he picked up on Dean’s words and unable to determine if he had truly meant it or if he was being sarcastic. Either way, Sam didn’t have a chance to call Dean on it because Dean had gotten up, collected the dishes and bowls, and headed to the kitchen leaving Sam and Castiel confused.

The following day, Dean quickly got dressed and told Sam that he would be headed out to the store to pick up a few things. The pie was the most important and at the very top of the list, of course. “Sure, Dean. Hey, real quick. Take it easy on Cas, today. I know you're excited that he’s back, but you gotta remember he’s human now.”

“So,” Dean responded, not understanding in the least bit what Sam was going on about.

“So, he’s probably going to be overwhelmed with a lot of stuff right now, so…”

“Yeah, okay. Dr. Phil. Thanks. I got it,” Dean said, in a huff. But at a glance towards Sam who was sporting a very amused look, Dean snapped, “What?”

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Sam replied before turning and walking away. “It’s just so obvious.”

“What is? …Sam…what’s obvious? Sammy?” Dean called after his brother, but his cries went completely ignored.

*~*~*

Later that night, Dean had set up the entire dining room table with different types of pies. There was apple, cherry, chocolate, key-lime, banana cream, pumpkin, and pecan pie. Dean could feel his mouth watering at the sight of the pies sitting there waiting to be cut into and eaten. But before that could be done, he needed to figure out where Castiel had run off to.

Going through the long curvy hallway, Dean knocked on the door to the spare room where Castiel had spent the night. When there was no answer, Dean gently opened the door, to no surprise, the room was empty. “Cas,” Dean called out, and when there was no answer he turned back around and headed toward his own room. Cas often spent a lot of time with Dean in his room, mainly when Cas thought he was sleeping. He took comfort in knowing that Castiel was watching him, it made him feel so many things for the first time. Dean knew that if anyone could stand or sit there and watch him sleep for hours, sometimes all night, that was true dedication… and maybe even love. But that was a very blurred line that Dean was going to push far away for right now because he was not going to think about Castiel and love in the same sentence.

Opening his bedroom door, he found Castiel curled up on his side of the bed, nose buried deep in his pillow, legs curled up. He looked so peaceful, and Dean stood in the doorway for a moment just staring. Deciding that standing and staring was just…weird, Dean made his way over to the other side of the bed and sat down. It gave him a moment of clarity, being able to openly stare at this angel human life that God himself created. It was about the only thing Dean was thankful for. Without Cas, Dean had a strong feeling that the world as they know it now simply wouldn’t exist. Castiel was a literal gift from Heaven, and how could he not be thankful for that?

For just a moment, Dean wanted to pretend, so he cautiously laid down, holding his breath, afraid that Castiel would wake up and be angry…displeased…just upset with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all. This will probably be the last chapter I post of this story. No one is really reading it and I don't see the point it continuing a story if no one is interested so if y'all do want me to continue let me know. If not, this is the last chapter. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

For the next week, Dean found himself dancing around Castiel, making sure not to stare too long which made Castiel stare longer. Dean even made sure to avoid staying anywhere near Castiel for too long, be it in the same room or just passing by. Dean found himself distancing himself from Castiel more than he ever had and it was starting to wear on him. He missed Cas, he was his best friend after all, but his feelings towards the former angel was really fucking with his head.

Everything changed one day when Dean was walking down the hallway. He had passed Castiel’s room and heard crying. Dean’s stomach instantly sank, and before he knew what he was doing he was knocking gently on the door, “Hey, Cas, is that you?”

“Go away, Dean,” was the painful answer Dean received in return. Dean winced but proceeded to enter into Castiel’s room. He found Cas curled up on his bed, face buried in his pillow, which created a lump in Dean’s throat. For a moment he just stood there dumbly, back pressed against the door and he wasn’t sure what he should do next. Eventually, he snapped out of it and asked, “Hey man, you okay?”

With a sniffle, Castiel sat up in bed, eyes sad and red from crying, tear tracks running down his delicate face, his hair going in every which direction and Dean felt his heart melt at the sight. He wanted to take Castiel in his arms and tell him everything would be alright, but he didn’t dare move.

Castiel stared down at Dean from his seat on the bed making Dean feel about two inches tall. With a slight tilt of his head, Castiel finally asked, “Why did you come to get me from The Empty?” And when Dean just stared at him like he had no idea what Castiel had just said, he asked, “Dean, why did you save me? Why?” Castiel’s tears had started again, and he wiped furiously at his face.

Dean blinked and tried to get his mouth to work but he looked like a fish out of water. There were so many answers he could give to Cas right now. He could say the right thing, tell him because he was his best friend, practically family at this point, and that is what family does for each other. He could tell him that at one point, Castiel did the same for him. Or he could tell him the truth, tell him that he realized that he loves him and couldn’t live without him and he risked his life to save Castiel because that’s what people do when they are in love. Then he remembered the ‘I love you’ Cas had said right before the Empty came for him. Castiel _had_ given his life so Dean could live, and if that wasn’t love then he didn’t know what was, so he settled for, “I think you know why Cas.”

This time Dean hardened his expression and stared just as hard into Castiel’s eyes. He watched realization hit Castiel and heard the word, “oh” float out of Cas’s mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I am so sorry for the super short chapter, this is just kind of like a filler building up to the next chapter and the things that happen. I will update again on Friday. Also, I decided that I'm going to end this story in a few chapters, but the story won't end there. There will be a second story that goes with this one called, The Second Beginning. Let me know what y'all think. stay safe and warm y'all! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

“H-how long?” Castiel asked.

“I think…for a long time, but I always suppressed my feelings. They always felt wrong because of who I am. I realized that I might have these feelings for you, and I realized that I could push them down, box them up, and ignore it, until I couldn’t. I hated that you gave your life for me, and when I finally realized my feelings for you, I just… I knew I had to do whatever it took to get you back.”

“Why have you been avoiding me, Dean?”

“Because I am an idiot who lets his past get in the way,” Dean said with a heavy sigh, wiping his face tiredly. “Can I sit?”

“You may.”

“Cas, when I was about…I don’t know, maybe fourteen, I realized that I was bisexual. I started fooling around with this boy I met from some motel we had stayed in for a week. Sammy was asleep, and I asked Zayn to come over. He did, and we watched a few movies, and then we started making out. I didn’t hear the car pull up right outside, and I didn’t hear the door open.

“Man, when my dad walked in," Dean said taking a sharp breath, recalling the memories of that day. "Saw me and Zayn kissing ... he beat the crap out of me. Sammy had no idea, I didn’t want him to know, and dad said he was too young and wouldn’t understand. I forced myself to believe my father’s words when he told me that liking boys would get me sent to hell. He said it was dirty and the work of the devil. He said that no Winchester, especially a child of his would ever call him father if he was gay. That night he gave me an ultimatum… either get out or forget this ever happened, keep my nose clean, and stick to girls, so I made my choice. What else was I supposed to do? I was scared and I couldn’t leave Sam. I had to protect him. So, I made myself forget. I pushed all those thoughts and feelings away and for a while I made myself believe that I was straight. I was honestly fine, never looked at another man until you. You changed me, Cas.” By now, Dean was crying wiping erratically at his tears because Winchester’s don’t fucking cry.

Castiel sat there, shocked, and unsure of what to say or do next, so he sat quietly trying to process what Dean was telling him. Instead of saying anything, Castiel reached over and gently took Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together. This goat Dean's attention, and had Dean focused on their entwined fingers for a short while before he was able to continue talking. “I’m so sorry it took me this long to be able to tell you this. It took me losing you to realize that….”

“That what,” Castiel asked, his voice rough and full of emotion, but fully focusing on Dean and coaxing the words out of his mouth. Gently, his thumb caressed Dean's palm and Dean let out a sigh before he continued to speak.

“That...I… I love you, Cas. I was so stupid, Cas, and I’m sorry.”

After a moment of silence, Dean begged for Castiel too, “Say something, Cas. Anything.”

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel said. Dean’s shoulder’s slumped and he felt as though this was some sort of cosmic punch to his gut for being such an ass this entire time.

“It’s okay, Cas…" Dean said, pulling his hand away from Castiel's. "Guess I should have realized how I felt sooner and acted upon them. I understand if you don’t feel the same anymore or want me to leave you alone.”

“What? Dean, no…" Castiel said, grabbing Dean's hand again, "You misunderstood what I’m trying to say. Just… give me a minute to explain,  
Castiel said, taking a deep breath, brows furrowed and Dean could tell he was trying to find the right words to say. “I thought I understood human’s feelings when I was an angel, and I thought I knew what love was too. I felt love for you and for Sam, but I knew the feelings were different. I knew that no matter what I would always be by your side, just like if you told me to leave, I would leave. I would do whatever you needed me to do without question because I thought I loved you at the time.

“I died for you Dean, to save you because I loved you. I would have been happy with my life just like that. Had you not come for me, I would have been fine. My dreams in the Empty… it was all of you, Dean. The Empty haunted me with you because it knew I wanted you so desperately and I couldn’t have you.

“But… when you rescued me and brought me back I became human. Dean…” Castiel said taking a breath and wiping the tears away. Dean was also crying silently, jaw set, tears streaking down his tense face, and Castiel let out a gasp. “I don’t know how humans do it, Dean. Feelings, emotions, they’re so complicated. I know now that what I thought as an angel is nothing compared to what humans actually experience. I knew back then that I loved you, but I never knew what love truly was or felt like until now. And Dean, it’s all because of you… I love you, so much it hurts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all! So it turns out that I'm anemic. I found out this morning after getting some blood work done last week. I've been feeling a little off lately, super dizzy and extremely tired. I had a blood transfusion yesterday and today I feel much better! How have y'all been?


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Dean let out a gasping breath as he listened to Castiel’s confession. “You… feel the same way? Still?”

“Yes, Dean. Maybe not the same way… I’d say that feeling has definitely intensified this time around,” Castiel said, caught somewhere between a cruel laugh and a sob, but still smiling nonetheless.

Well, that’s great. I mean…I’m glad you still love me, I love you… Look, Cas, I’m not good at this. I’m not the settle down, get married, have kids…I like kids, but…I don’t see us having kids…. We can’t have kids… I mean… we could…It’s just…you’re a man… and I’m a man… and…” Dean said, babbling on and on, Castiel allowed him to go on for a moment, smiling at how adorable Dean was stumbling over the correct words to say. “That’s beside the point, What I’m trying to say is that I’ve never been in a real relationship… well, except that one time with Lisa, but that didn’t last long. I don’t know how to do this, Cas. I don’t want to fuck it up,” Dean finally finished with a sigh.

“Good thing too,” Castiel said, “Because If you haven’t noticed, I have never been in a relationship either. I don’t know what I’m doing. We’ll do this together. We’ll take it one day at a time, and we talk to each other. Sound good?”

Dean smiled, “Yeah, sounds good. I’m going to kiss you now…If that’s okay?” Dean asked, noting the change in the atmosphere. Castiel suddenly becoming very shy and quiet. His blue eyes wide but he nodded his answer, saying, “I’d like that very much.”

Dean gently pulled Castiel close to him, his rough calloused hand lightly grazing Castiel’s cheek. Then, Dean allowed his thumb to trace along Castiel’s bottom lip. It had been the one thing that Dean had always found so damn attractive. Castiel’s lips were thick, plump in all the right places. All of the women he had been with that had big lips were all fake, filled with silicone injections, and he hated it. Castiel’s lips were real and beautiful and he didn’t stop himself this time from leaning in and brushing his lips gently over Cas’s. With a moan from Cas, Dean finally captured Castiel’s lips in his own.

For a moment, everything disappeared, fireworks exploded within them, clouds engulfed them holding them close and tight together. It was the most overwhelming and intense experience Dean has ever felt. When the two finally pulled apart it was a struggle, Castiel let out a gasping breath and clung to Dean so desperate and needy. Dean was also holding onto Castiel, dizzy and buzzing with adrenalin. They locked eyes for a moment, and once again everything paused around them, it was the first time Dean realized he was home.

After several hours were spent laying in bed, kissing, laughing, talking, and just getting to know each other on a more intimate level. Dean finally stood up, stretching his muscles, and stretched his hand out for Castiel to take. “C’mon, there is pie in the dining room.”

“’k” was Castiel’s response, and so with flushed cheeks, messy hair, and a dopey smile on his face, Castiel took Dean’s hand and was led into the dining room. Neither one of them could stop smiling, and when they took their seats facing each other and knees bumping, they both leaned in again for a quick kiss. Dean licking his lips, reached over for the banana cream pie, taking a little onto the spoon he was holding and brought it up to Castiel’s lips. Castiel opened his mouth, maintaining eye contact and accepting the spoon into his mouth. Castiel moaned and the taste and Dean sat up straighter, feeling himself straining in his jeans. “Shit, Cas,” Dean whispered as he fed him another piece of the pie. After a few more bites and obscene noises from Castiel, Dean pulled Castiel close and claimed his lips, forcing his tongue into Cas’s mouth and tasting the sweet after taste of bananas and cream. However, their little haven Castiel and Dean had made within each other was short-lived as Sam made his presence known by clearing his throat and saying, “Ugh, hey guys. Sorry to interrupt,”

“Then don’t,” Dean said, anger flooding his body because he wasn’t ready to stop kissing Cas.

“Yeah, well… my date didn’t go as planned. Eileen got sick so our night ended… too soon, so I will be in my room, you two continue but I don’t want to hear any noise from either one of you,”

“Whatever, just get out of here man,” Dean said, whining which made Castiel laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, Dean. Your just… your perfect and I love you.”

“Yeah, you’re not bad yourself, Cas. Love you back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Y'all! So I know this was a super short chapter and it is also the last chapter of this story, but on Friday I will have the first chapter to the second part of this story posted so if you enjoyed this watch for that, the story will be called The Second Beginning. Let me know what y'all think <3


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